Love, CharenLeigh

Not my typical blog post, but this is the journey I’m on right now so why not share. Not many educational references, but just my experiences in life that is pushing me to “save this world”!

So y’all, I have committed to a lot in the last 6 weeks and as overwhelmed as I feel at times, I know I am exactly where I need to be. Being busy has saved me. It has taught me time management to a new degree. I have learned new exciting things and have taken on new opportunities that will help me expand my thoughts and views in healthcare.

But ya girl is tiiiirrrreeeedddd….

Here is how it all kind of happened and how I ended up with 3 jobs, working 80+ hours a week, and only Sunday’s off.

I had become really content at my job. Content to the point that there was no challenge anymore. I was no longer pushing myself and I had allowed my negativity to creep back in.

The hospital is not always a positive place and I had allowed the negativity surrounding me to push me away. I had become complacent and never worked as hard as I could. I also had lost my passion for healthcare and for the “sick”. I did not want to take care of others anymore due to the lack of respect that not only I received but what most nurses received also.

I have wanted to become a nurse for the last 5 years of my life, if not more. I have been dedicated to that and my education to accomplish it. My attitude towards nursing had changed. I began to pray for ways to reconnect my passion for nursing in a new way. I wanted all the negative connotations for helping others to go away. I wanted to truly feel as if I was helping people again. I also needed extra money, or would have liked extra money. But basically I wanted that drive back.

Now, do not get me wrong I do not plan on  leaving; well ya know until I graduate and get to be one of those nurses I look up to. That’s the biggest reason I haven’t given up on nursing, due to the experiences I have had and love I have for my coworkers. I would have never made it this far without them and the nurses I have learned from over the years. Plus I need those full-time benefits to continue to roll in. I am an actual adult now so having insurance and benefits is so necessary.

I believe God works behind the scenes a lot harder than we give him credit for. I had been dedicating my time on praying for my purpose. I had several dreams along this line. I had been praying for signs, signs to show me that what I am doing now is part of my purpose and it was not a waste of time. I really hoped to be further along in school by this age, but we all know life happens. I wanted my purpose to shine through me every day regardless where I was, but I felt lost. I felt like the things I was doing and the time spent at the hospital was just for the paycheck and I was no longer able to follow my purpose. Either that or I lacked the motivation to push myself to give my patients the very best. I wanted to get back to the side of patient care that I loved so much, without a pay cut of course.

God started working, he started bringing opportunities into my life-like crazy and oddly enough, within a few hours of one another. So one night, with a whole attitude, at work at the hospital two different individuals hit me up and just asked if I had been interested in a part-time job or if I knew someone who would be. My thoughts started churning. Was this my sign God that I had prayed so hard for? Was this my purpose reaching out? Or was this something that would add more distractions to the plan God had for my life? I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason and I believe that is just what was happening.

I am now finishing up week 3 of working one full-time job and two-part time jobs and I’m in love all over again. Yes I am tired, yes I wish some days I didn’t work EVERY DAY, but God was working. He answered my prayers in a way I truly could not imagine. I had not planned to accept both positions at the time but they were opportunities that just do not come around often. So here I am, surviving and thriving and working harder than I ever have. Pretty damn happy about it if I do say so myself.

In just the last 3 weeks I have learned a little more about my self. My love to work is what motivates me. When that love starts to dwindle so does my motivation. Challenges are what keep me going. If I am not accomplishing something I feel as if I’m doing “nothing”. This is not the case at all, but my mind sure is a trickster and will certainly try to fool me if it can. I have reached the point in my life where I can control my thoughts pretty well and only allow myself to focus on things that are motivating and peaceful. I have been able to use my time more wisely and make the very best of every second I get in a day. There is no more lying around and moping; I get up everyday and handle business. I mean there is no time for being lazy when you’ve only got a few hours.

I have met so many wonderful people who support my love to work and my love for people. Plus people have gotten to see the side of me that truly just loves to learn. I have truly gained knowledge and experiences in the last 3 weeks that most would die for. I do not have schooling in these areas so for the chance to do what I get to do is one in a million. I am incredibly thankful also. My gratefulness screams daily, cause I’m really not sure what I did to deserve all these opportunities. Except I stayed faithful & diligent. 

Now, I may be busy, I may not have the time for extracurricular activities anymore, and I may not get to adventure around right now as I would have liked but I’m happy. That’s a huge thing for me. To honestly just be happy exactly where I am doing what I do. I’m living my best life; learning and gaining knowledge that I never thought I would get the chance to. This will all truly help push me to be the best nurse, business owner, friend, and coworker in the future.

I know that the stepping-stones to get to where I need to go are not ending. I know that the light I see may not be the end of the tunnel but I’m excited for the adventure and those steps ahead. Because whoa boy, God’s plan for my life is a lot bigger than I could have ever imagined.

I’m falling right into the exact places I need to, to share God’s love, to open the eyes in the community, and to help others.

I may not have that degree yet, but it’s coming and for now I’ll continue to water my grass here on this side of life right now. I’ll continue to work towards those goals while giving God the go ahead to uproot me when necessary and put me in just the right spots in the world.

The reward and blessings that have come and are coming are insurmountable.

Here’s to the next 3 weeks of working my life away; just how I like it.