Love, CharenLeigh

Life is short.

Life is sweet.

Life is unfair.

But y’all, this ride I’m on is full of ups, downs, yanks, pulls, tugs, and nothing short of an adrenaline rush.

I haven’t posted here in a few months because honestly, I have been back and forth in this life of mine and what my real purpose is and if I’m on the track that Jesus wants me on.

If you haven’t already watched my new vlog you should check it out. It’s on my Instagram and Facebook pages. That seems to be the biggest social media platform for me hence why it is located there. Maybe one day I will be famous and have my own YouTube channel!

Starting a vlog has always been a dream of mine. I’ve always loved to be in front of a camera since I was a child, and I mean center of a attention front of the camera. My parents can vouch for that and the hissy fits I pitched when my sister came along and deserved a little camera time too. My whole dream for my life has always been focused solely on helping others in whatever form was brought to my attention at the time. I used myself as a vessel. Because I truly like to help others; it gives me peace and pushes me to be the best person that I can be.

After being kidnapped and going through my own mental health journey, I started seeing a bigger part of my purpose in this world. I wanted to help the ones who were scared to ask for help. The people who were ashamed of what they were going through, but truly needed someone to share their experiences so they did not feel so alone.

Here I am years after my kidnapping with a blog that I share my most vulnerable moments, and now a vlog actually speaking out loud what some of my scariest struggles are just to help others not be alone. The bigger purpose behind it all has always been to help regardless what form of help someone needed.

I like to give advice even if I don’t take my own. I like to be empathetic with people when they are physically sick (yep, still at the hospital). But now I’ve found another purpose of mine that I love to do, I love to help people physically, mentally and emotionally take care of their bodies from the start, in hope they avoid a spiral downward. Whether its through nutrition, exercise, goals, inspiration, and motivation I want to be there to help.

My dream of wellness in every aspect in someone’s life is fully developing before my eyes.

But…

Let’s backtrack a little over the last few months. One of my last few posts, I told everyone how I had started two new opportunities that I just knew would be a big blessing and create all the happiness I could ever want. Boy was I wrong, it stretched me thin to the point I had to quit the first one pretty quickly and abruptly. I had to be honest with my boss and with myself that I physically and mentally could not do it all. I made the best decision and left while I was still ahead. That was test number one. How would I take on that responsibility and face it head on without just hiding away in my turtle shell, like I’ve done before when things didn’t work out as planned. But I did it, I survived, and I did not burn bridges in the process. I was proud of myself.

So as I was working the other two jobs I started noticing things were not going as smoothly as I had hoped. I was working six, twelve hour shifts a week and never even had time to attend the gym, grocery shop, or even snuggle with my fur kids. My bank account was happy and I had money in my pockets but truly had no time for myself or to deflect on anything. Emotions were high and mighty and things headed south. I didn’t realize how toxic that second environment had become for me. I eventually was tested more than I had been in years and lost that job due lack of support from management and my own self control. That was test number two, would I allow the loss of something as serious to me as a job put me under? Thankfully I spent a few days reflecting and realized it was not the place I was suppose to be after all. The tests showed me that God needed me to be content where I was, doing what I was doing regardless of the amount of money. He needed me to use that time not working other jobs and making money but to work on my dreams.

I went directly to my list of goals that I created back in December of 2018 and started thinking of ways to check those off. I created plans and agendas to accomplish every single one of them.

We are now in the very middle of the year and almost all my goals have been checked off. I ventured out of my comfort zone and created exactly what I wanted out of my life.

• I became a Herbalife Distributor and nutrition coach.

• I created a savings account.

• I became a vlogger.

• I met new people of different backgrounds, and started socializing outside of my norm.

• I am a part of a bible study group online.

• I graduated with my Associates in Pre-Nursing, while still working on a Psychology degree and getting accepted into an RN program.

• I started listening to motivational, Christian based podcasts instead of the radio.

• I ventured out and started to date again after such a heart wrenching breakup a few years ago.

• I mended friendships that I said I would never contact again. I even got the guts to cut off people I knew were not healthy for me.

But to be as vulnerable, transparent and truthful as I can be; I get so discouraged most of the time. I am 28 years old and I knew I would be more financially successful at this point in my life. Then I go back to that list of goals I created for myself back in December and realize how far I really have come in the last 6 months. How far I have come in the last 5 years, how strong of a woman I am without cutting out my sensitive, loving side. I’ve jumped hurdles and I have passed the tests that were thrown at me. I have fallen more in love with Jesus and finally realized his plan will forever be greater and more rewarding than any plan I could come up with for myself.

And ya know what; I’m finally on the track that Jesus wants for me. I’m finally growing in my purpose.