Love, CharenLeigh

Trauma has a weird way of bringing itself back around no matter how long it has been. I know it has been 6 years since I was kidnapped but some days it feels like yesterday and some days it feels like 100 years ago.

Weeks go by that I am at my best, I am happy and I am flourishing. Everything seems great.

Weeks go by that I am in a hole, that I do not feel like myself and just doing whats mandatory is draining.

Finding self-care rituals that work for me and help bring me out of the funk and back to that happy stage. Some of those things are working out, eating yummy food, deep cleaning my house, and getting my lashes done.

But sometimes, they run altogether and counteract the other. Cannot workout post lashes,  then eat a lot of yummy food, then being too lazy to clean the house. I have realized that when I fail to do any of them I beat myself up for it. It all feels so traumatic in my brain that I did not accomplish the things I said I always would. Organizing and rearranging my schedule to get it all accomplished brings me peace, but it’s not always feasible.

I think the biggest part of any trauma, happiness, or any sad moments is learning to be alright regardless if it is not “fixed” or “exact” just like you had planned.

Learn to look at it as a healing, growing moment and you will easily not feel so guilty when you do not have those good weeks or bad weeks, but as weeks that you are alive and healthy. Retrain that mind to believe that things not going as planned is not a traumatic event. Retrain your mind to see the good in it all. Retrain your mind to be happy and at peace in moments that many fall apart.